I hate him, I love him

Life doesn’t always seem to be worth living, but it is. My dad has been emotionally abusing me ever since my mum moved out and life is a struggle sometimes. I love him to pieces but he makes me feel so worthless and then I feel guilty, guilty for existing, for not being the daughter he so desperately wants. I want to live with my mum but I feel so guilty, I feel like he has to do something worse like hitting me before I walk out. I’m scared. I dont feel safe and I feel like absolute shit. I’m sorry this is not particularly cheerful, but I needed to open up somewhere. I will get through this, I know I am not the only one going through this.
Lots of love,
Stay strong XOXO

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “I hate him, I love him

  1. This made me feel so bad for you, I’m sorry that your dad treats you that way. If you are scared and don’t feel safe living with him then you should leave. I know its hard but you can’t keep going on this way. I think his way of coping with your mum leaving is to take it out on you and blame you for it when its not your fault. If your mum knew that he was treating you this way she would be heartbroken and she would want you to go and live with her. You said he makes you feel worthless and a dad should never make you feel like that. Never feel guilty for existing. You deserve to be here. I think we all came into the world for a reason. I hope you find a solution to this situation. Whatever you decide to do just make sure its the right to do for yourself. Stay strong little fighter, soon things will be brighter. Wish you all the best. From Laura x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for your beautiful comment, it has really helped me to get through this. Today I am going to decide whether or not to go on holiday with my dad. If he reacts negatively towards me today, then I am going to move in with my mum and he will have to arrange for someone else to have my ticket. I will feel guilty, but I think it would be better in the long run. Thank you so much, your kind words give me a lot of hope for the future. Love Rhiannon x

      Like

      1. Your welcome 🙂 Could you maybe do an update on this post when you can to let me know what you decide to do because even though I don’t know you I am very worried about your safety. Trust me it will be better in the long run. I have been following your blog for a while and thought I would give you some advice. Your previous posts on anxiety have really helped me because I live with it. I just want to say thank you for sharing what you have shared. It takes courage to do that especially online where anyone could see it. Stay strong and remain hopeful. From Laura x

        Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s